They Can't Take That Away From Me
by EBOMIgnite
Summary: Every Christmas Eve, Elena has been meeting Damon. They talk, they dance, and they act like strangers, but life has a funny way of making ends meet. (For the Christmas exchange)
1. Chapter 1

_I haven't wrote anything in a very long time. My love for writing has slowly drifted away along with a lot of things. I know many of you may be angry at me for deleting unfinished stories, but I have my reasons. Personal reasons. Laura has always been a huge supporter when it came to my writing and so I wanted to give her something back. This is my take on her prompt for the Christmas exchange. I hope you like it, Laura. _

**You Can't Take That Away From Me.**

…

**December 24****th****, 2002**

Every Christmas Eve for the past four years, I have watched the sun go down by The Falls. In a secluded area, surrounded by tree's – all of which have shredded their leaves – sitting on a bench by the frozen lake, a glass of wine and a simple red rose in hand, I'd watch Christmas day come.

This is Christmas is no different. I'll follow my routine and by ten PM, I'll be on 'our' bench and I'll let the festive feeling of pure joy intoxicate me.

I look up at the clock and see it's only nine thirty. The fire in front of me is crackling away and the man on the radio is introducing the next Christmas song. I smile as my favourite Christmas song comes on, just like it does at this time every year.

"_Have yourself a merry little Christmas, let your heart be light. From now on our troubles will be out of sight."_

I gentle sway to the song and glance at the photo frame on the fireplace. I kiss my finger and touch our smiling faces through the glass.

I turn around on my heels and my heart sighs at the sight of Ellie, fast asleep and dreaming on our black leather couch. She's waiting for Santa to fall down our chimney, but I don't have the heart to tell her that our chimney is just for artistic purposes. It's closed off and our fire is electric. Every year she sleeps on the couch, a carrot and a mince pie on a plate beside her.

I crouch down and press a kiss to her cheek. I pull the blanket over her shoulders and switch off the radio.

"No snow," Caroline sighs as she drags her feet into my front room, a hot chocolate in one hand and a slice of toast in the other. "I guess it's going to be another lonely Christmas for me."

"Caroline," I laugh, "that's just an old wives tale. Snow is just snow. It doesn't symbolise anything."

"It's not just snow, Elena! It's only snowed ten times in Mystic Falls and each time, something magical has happened! It's been four years since it last snowed and you and I both know that nothing worthwhile has happened since."

"Caroline-"

"Believe in the snow, Elena!"

"I believe in snow," I chuckle quietly and pull on my coat, "but I don't believe in miracles."

"Elena, you of all people have to believe in miracles."

I look down at Ellie once more, before turning to my front door and pulling it open. There has been no sign of snow for four years. The last time it snowed… it was a beautiful day. A magical day.

"Not anymore, Caroline." I shrug and leave, closing the door quietly behind me. "Not anymore."

By the time I get to 'our' spot, it's exactly ten pm and I am surrounded by utter silence. If I listen closely enough, I can hear the crackling of the icy lake. It's a beautiful place, not one many people knew about until I introduced to them, but in winter, it's like a fairy-tale.

I sit down on the bench and I pull out my flask of mulled wine. The smell is divine and it reminds me of what Christmas is all about. It's not about the presents, the food, or Santa Claus, but it's about realising all the beautiful reasons to be alive and spending a day with your family.

"Don't I know you?" A smooth and sultry voice echoes behind me and snaps me out of my reverie.

I quickly snap my head around to see him; dressed in a three-piece grey suit. His black mop of hair is messy on his head and the top few buttons of his dress shirt are undone. Now he is a fairy-tale. A true Prince Charming.

"Damon," I grin. "You're late."

"You're stunning," he smirks and leans over the bench to press a kiss to my cold cheek. "And you're already on the alcohol. Daddy would be angry."

"It's mulled wine and it's Christmas Eve, it'd be rude of me not to," I shrug and offer him my flask. "You know you want to."

"Miss Gilbert, are you trying to get me drunk?"

"Maybe," I wink. "So tell me, why are you dressed up like you're somebody famous?"

"I look good, don't I? No – actually, don't answer that – I look fantastic and I don't need you to tell me that. I thought I better make an effort today."

"You don't usually," I frown. "What's so special about this year?"

"I'm meeting the girlfriend's parents," he cringes. "They're posh."

My heart sinks and smashes into a million little pieces on the frozen ground. His girlfriend. He's with someone. He's given his heart to someone. I know I shouldn't be bothered about this as he has the right to live however he wishes, but I can't tell my heart not to care.

"You have a girlfriend?" I ask, trying to sound like it hasn't bothered me in the slightest. "Wow."

"Katherine," he nods. "She's… something. She's a midwife at the hospital I was in. We bumped into each other in March at the supermarket and I guess it all started there."

"Wow," I try and smile. "I'm… happy for you. And you're meeting her parents, huh? It must be getting serious between the both of you."

He shrugs and turns away from me. He kicks a stone on the floor and runs his hands through his hair. I can see it in his eyes that he isn't as sure as he wants to be about this relationship. I know I shouldn't be happy about that but secretly I am.

"My first Christmas with someone other than my right hand," he wiggles his eyebrows at me, and my knees buckle beneath me.

"Have you and her had—eww. No. None of my business. Sorry," I cringe at my words and bury my head in my hands, my knees up against my chest.

"We have."

He sits down next to me and nudges my shoulder. I look in his cobalt eyes and smile as best as I can.

"She's the first woman I've… you know…," he blushes. He actually blushes.

"Since the accident?" I ask. "She's the first woman you've slept with since the accident."

He turns away from me like he is embarrassed, but I cup his cold cheeks with my warm hands and force him to look at me. There is little to no hope in his eyes and I can't stand to see him so defeated. He looks at me and gives me the most hopeless smile that I've ever seen.

"Why are you so embarrassed about it?"

"It's not that I'm embarrassed. I'm… it's weird. It's not the same."

"As?"

"That's it," he shrugs. "I don't know. It just doesn't feel right."

"Do you love her?" I ask him.

"I try. I'm trying. I'm trying not to walk away."

"That's where you're going wrong, Damon. You don't have to try and love someone. Love… it's not a thing, it's an emotion. You just love someone. It comes naturally."

"You're not just a pretty face, are you?" He laughs and sips on my flask of mulled wine.

"Yeah well," I snort, "some guy told me that when it's real, you can't walk away."

"And did he walk away from you?"

"I wouldn't say he walked away from me," I smile. "He … he just forgot about me."

"Nah," Damon gives his boyish grin and wraps his strong arm around my shoulders, "you're impossible to forget, Miss Gilbert."

I can't help but smile at him, but if only he knew what he just said to me meant.

We sit in silence, listening to the wind sing through the trees and the ice crack on the lake. The odd bird flies overhead but there is not much wildlife to be seen. I throw my legs over his and he grasps them tightly in his large hands.

"I have to leave soon," he breathes. "I really wish I could see you more than just once a year."

"Then why don't you? Are you ashamed of me, Mr Salvatore?"

"No man could be ashamed to have you on their arm," he joked. "Haven't you heard the saying 'too much of a good thing…'"

"Damon—"

"I have to go. Katherine will be waiting for me."

"I guess you should," I say. "Thank you for coming, Damon."

He leans down and presses a quaint kiss to the crown of my head and whispers, "Have yourself a merry little Christmas, Elena."

…

**December 24****th****, 2003**

It's that time of year again. I'm standing by the crackling fire, the radio on as 'our' song plays, gazing out the window at the dark sky.

Ellie, once again, is asleep on the couch with the remote control in her hand. Her head is resting in Caroline's lap as she sweetly dreams of Santa Claus coming down the chimney.

"No snow," Caroline grumbles as she twiddles her engagement ring. "None. Not a single drop! Do you know what that means? It means he's going to stand me up at the altar. He's gonna climb out the bathroom window, jump into the waiting taxi, go to Timbuktu, and then never come back again."

I can't help but laugh at her. She scowls at me but she knows I mean well. Ellie stirs on her lap and mumbles something, faintly, in her sleep.

"I have to go," I shake my head, still laughing at my best friend. "I don't want to be late."

She rolls her eyes at me, but I'm too quick out the door to hear her sarcastic remark. It's a horribly cold night and I can't shake the feeling that Damon isn't going to show up. Part of me hopes he doesn't show because I don't know how long I can keep myself at bay for. The other part – the domineering part of me – dreads the idea that he won't show up to bless me with his beautiful present.

As I get to the clearing, I spot him. He's pouring two glasses of red wine and has a box of chocolates resting on the bench.

"Mr Salvatore," I smirk at him, "are you trying to get my drunk?"

"Excuse me?"

"I see one glass has much more wine than the other," I point to the full glass and wink at him.

He simply rolls his eyes at me. He rushes over and presses his lips to my cheek. My whole body convulses and I can't stop the girly laughter erupting from my lips.

"Okay," I frown as I sip on my drink, "your smile is scaring the shit out of me. Why are you smirking like the cat that got the cream?"

"Can't I just be happy to see you? Can't I just be happy because I get to spend this beautiful night with the most beautiful woman I know?"

"No."

"Okay, so I won a bit of money at a casino earlier. It seems I haven't forgotten how to scam people out of their hard-earned money," he jokes. "Who's the man? I'm the man."

I can't help but smile. It's been a long time since I have seen him so happy. He's dancing on the spot, humming, and acting like he's Frank Sinatra or Fred Astaire. He spins me under his arm and pulls me up against his chest, swinging me from side to side.

"Who's the man, Elena? Tell me."

"You're the man," I mumble, embarrassed at what he making me do.

"Nope. Say it louder. Who is the man, Elena? Shout it."

"Damon—"

"Who's the man?!"

"You're the man!" I yell at the top of my voice and it echoes through the trees. "Damon Salvatore, you are the man!"

"Jeez, you don't have to be so loud, Elena," he grins and spins me around again. This time I land against his chest with my eyes locked on his.

"It's nice to see you smiling again."

"It's about time, don't you think?" He mumbles into my hair. "I've been miserable for so long and I finally feel myself... well from what I can remember."

We usually slow dance on Christmas Eve but this time he is spinning me around quickly and bouncing up and down like we're doing the quick step or the jive. He makes me squeal like a child when he grips my waist and holds me up in the air. I can't stand my girlish giggle, but as I hold myself up on his shoulders, I feel like a young school girl in love all over again.

_"The way you wear your hat,"_ he starts to sing and I suddenly go silent, _"the way you sip your tea. The memory of all that, no no, they can't take that away from me."_

He slowly puts me down on the floor and hugs me close to him, but he doesn't stop singing. His eyes are shut as we sway, while mine are wide open as if I have seen a ghost. My heart won't stop pounding and I'm sure I'm beginning to sweat.

"_The way your smile just beams. The way you sing off key. The way you haunt my dreams, no no, they can't take that away from me."_

He finally opens his eyes and looks at me. He has clearly seen my bewildered expression and he laughs at me, taps the cold end of my nose, and dips me down to the floor.

"_We may never, never meet again on that bumpy to road to love. Still I always, always keep the memory of the way you hold your knife. The way we dance till three. The way you changed my life—"_

He suddenly goes all pale and stumbles away from me. His hands grip his head tightly and he squeezes his eyes shut.

"Damon?" I barely whisper. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I have to go," he snaps. "Fuck."

"Damon, why were you singing—"

"I have to go, Elena."

He doesn't even look at me. He quickly turns on his heels and disappears into the darkness, leaving me there in the cold without a single ounce of hope.

…

**December 24****th****, 2004.**

This year is different to all the rest. This year it doesn't feel like Christmas at all and I think it's because I've lost all hope. For the past few Eves, I have held on to a tiny shed of light – hope – but this year, I'm empty and broken.

I'm sitting at my designated table, at Caroline's winter wonderland of a wedding. She and her new husband are having their first dance while we watch on with tears in our eyes.

Her wedding was truly beautiful and I couldn't have been happier for her. She looked beautiful in her Vera Wang dress and her golden locks just shimmered under her veil. She is definitely one of the most beautiful women I have ever had the chance to meet.

Ellie is up by the band – her eyes are locked on the pianist – swaying in her little bridesmaid dress. I smile at the amazed expression on her face but as I watch the pianist as he sings his beautiful song, something hits me and tears form in the corners of my eyes.

"_Stars shining bright above you, night breezes seem to whisper I love you. Birds singing in the sycamore tree, dream a little dream of me. Say nighty-night and kiss me. Just hold me tight and tell me you miss me. While I'm alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me."_

"_Congratulation Jer," I whispered into my brother's ear as he pulled me into a hug. "I'm so happy for you. Mum and dad would be so proud of you."_

"_Do you think they'd have forgiven for me all the crap I did when I was younger?"_

"_Of course," I smiled and kissed his cheek. "You've turned into a gentleman to be proud of and anyway, even if mum was alive and still pissed at you for all the shit you put them through, she'd be too happy to have Bonnie for a daughter-in-law to care."_

_He laughed and put his arm around me and we began to dance to the music together. Just my younger brother and I, nobody else in the world to care about. _

"_The band is brilliant, Jer. The pianist's voice is so… it's so dreamy," I purred as I gazed over his shoulder at the band who was currently singing Ben E. King's 'Stand by Me.' "Plus he isn't hard to look at, is he?"_

"_Bonnie saw them at one of her friend's wedding and she just had to have them. He's fantastic, I agree, but I know Bonnie only wanted them for his 'dreamy' looks. You wouldn't think that a man in a leather jacket could play the piano like Mozart or sing like Sinatra, but I'll give it to the guy, he's pretty damn good."_

"_You gonna help a single lady out?" I joked as he pulled away from me and gave me a pointed look. _

"_I don't remember his name," he lied. "Stay single, Elena. Save me the bother of beating up every man you meet."_

"_But don't you want a niece of nephew?"_

"_Eurgh. Stay away from all men, Elena, nobody is ever going to be good enough for you, okay?"_

"_Okay," I sighed. "I love you, Jer."_

"_I love you too, Elena."_

_He left me in the middle of the dance floor to find his new wife and Caroline was hollering me from the other end of the room, but my eyes were locked on the pianists and I was entranced by his voice and good looks. _

_It was about the time that he started singing Sinatra's song that he looked over at me. My knee's buckled beneath me and in that moment, I knew I was done for. _

_My heart had been stolen and I never wanted to get it back. _

"Earth to Elena," Caroline screeches down my ear. I shake my head and come back down to earth, pushing the memor_y to the back of my mind. _"Do you realise what time it is?"

"I'm not going," I sigh. "I don't feel like it. I don't want to see his face. I'm angry at him."

"No you're not. You're angry at the situation. You're angry at what you're going through, but you're not angry at him."

I turn my head from her and wipe the tears from my eyes. I know that she is right but I just don't want to accept it.

"Go, Elena. Go see him."

By the time I let her push me into going to see him and get down to the falls – doubting he'd even be there himself – I'm half asleep. I've been up since the early hours helping Caroline get ready and getting myself ready, I'm sure I'll be asleep within minutes.

"I didn't think you were coming," he frowns. "I thought I was going to have to see in Christmas on my own."

"I was at my friend's wedding," I tell him. "It wasn't easy to leave."

He nods and stands up. He has bags under his eyes and he's pale, like he's barely slept since we last saw one another.

"You look beautiful ," he whispers as he circles me, checking me out. "Elena, how are you single when you look like this?"

"I guess I'm just waiting for the right person," I shrug. "Or I've already found him and I'm waiting for him to realise that I'm the right person for him."

"Maybe he already knows."

"He does," I nod, "but he's forgotten."

He turns his head away from me and runs his hands through his messy hair. He takes a deep breath and sits down on a tree stump.

"I'm sorry about what happened last year. I shouldn't have ran away, but…"

"I understand," I smile sadly at him. "I know you're having a hard time, Damon, but I wish you would let me in. I wish you would let me help you."

He looks up at me and I do my best to reassure him with my smile. I crouch down beside him and he gazes at me with his cold eyes. He holds out his palm to me and cups my cheeks. I snuggle my cheek into his warm palm and I sense him shiver.

I look up at his face and he is as white as a sheet of paper. He attentively strokes his thumb against my skin and I can't help but sigh and relax.

He slowly turns around and pulls me between his legs. Both of his hands are now cupping my face.

"I broke up with Katherine," he whispers. "She wasn't the one."

"How do you know?" I ask.

"I just know," he smirks. "I know everything."

If only, I thought to myself.

"Do you want to know what else I know?"

I nod.

"I know that I don't want to live in a world without you," he says with his eyes shut tight. "And I want you in my life, every day and every night. I need you there. You will never need me as much as I need you, but I want you to need me. I need you to need me. Elena, you could never want me the way that I want you. You could never comprehend how much I want you."

A tear rolls down my cheek as I push away from him. I catch my tears with the back of my hand and wipe my nose on my arm. I know it's not ladylike but my heart is pounding and I can't breathe. The thought of trying to find a tissue in this state is near impossible.

"Why-what-why did you say that?" I stutter. "Where did you heart that?"

"I had a dream last night," he frowns. "We were here. Me and you. Christmas Eve, fairy lights everywhere. They were hidden in the branches, around the tree stumps, and it was beautiful. I've only ever heard of such things in fairy-tales. There was white cotton hanging above us," he smiles as he remembers his 'dream.'

"Little jars with candles hung from the cotton and there were yellow and purple flowers all around us. You were wearing a pretty little dress and I was in my army uniform. I guess I was flying out that night or the next morning. We were young. A lot younger than we are now," he laughs. "You were absolutely stunning and I was the luckiest man to be alive that night."

"Was there anything different about me?" I ask. "Was there something else?"

He smiles and blushes. He actually blushes.

"It's lame. It doesn't matter."

"It's not lame," I laugh. "Tell me. Tell me everything."

"Okay," he whispers and pulls me up onto my feet. He carefully leads me across the icy ground to the bench.

He sits down first and then allows me to lie down, my head on his lap. Gently, his eyes never leaving mine, he places his large hand on my stomach.

"You had a bump. My bump," he rolls his eyes. "I told you this was lame."

"Carry on!" I demand as I link my fingers with his.

"I took your hand in mine and I told you that I didn't want to live in a world where you didn't exist. I basically just said to you what I used as my vows in my dream," he scoffs. "Then I woke up. I never got to hear your vows. I never got to kiss the bride."

"I miss you before you leave. I miss you when you're gone. I even miss you when you're here, sleeping beside me. My heart beats fast whenever I see your face, name, or think about all the things that we have done together. Whenever you're here, my fears and my doubt just disappears. I will wait a million years for you and a million more if I have to," I sit up and whisper. "I loved you way before I even knew you and I think I loved you before I even knew myself."

He tilts his head on its side and smiles, wiping the tears from under my eyes.

"And then what?" He asks. "What would happen next?"

"You'd kiss the bride," I mutter as I lean closer to him.

He leans in ever so slowly and presses his lips to mine in the gentlest kiss known to man. Our eyes are closed but our hearts are open. He places his hands on my neck and tangles the end of his fingers in my hair. This moment could last forever. I could stay in his arms, kissing him, forever. My body is tuned to his and my mind is fused with his.

"And then what?" he murmurs against my lips.

"Then you take me back to our home."

"Oh yeah?" He smirks and wiggles his eyes brows.

He shuffles me onto his lap and I wrap my legs around him. He pushes my hair away from my face and rests his head against my forehead, his arms linked around my back to hold me close to him.

"And what do we do at our home?"

"We do what you and I do best," I giggle, "and make up for lost time. You read to the bump and promise me you'll be back the day that she is born. You tell me that you'll love me forever, no matter what happens. By seven am, you're dressed and out of the house, ready to be shipped off somewhere new."

"And you let me leave?"

"I tell you that I want you to stay. I tell you that me and the bump need you more than your country needs you. I cry. You cry. I'm pretty sure the bump would cry if it could."

He laughs at me and presses his lips to the crown of my head.

"I wish I could have finished the dream and not just to see you underneath me, in a bed called 'ours.'"

I shuffle on his lap and he flinches.

"It doesn't have to just stay in your dream," I tell him. "Spend Christmas with me. Spent tonight with me. Stay with me, Damon. I can help you, I know I can!"

"I want to, 'Lena. Jesus, I want to spend every day with you but I can't!"

"Why not?" I snap. "Why can't you just—be with me?!"

"It would be selfish of me," he sighs. "I'd end up hurting you. You're the last person on the planet that I ever want to hurt! I won't put you in that position, Elena! I can't put you in that position."

"Why not!?"

"Because I love you too damn much!"

"You barely know me," I hiss and push away from him. I can't stand to feel his touch.

"No," he laughs, "I don't. I barely know myself after the plane crash, but I know I'm madly in love with you."

"So then do something about it!"

"I can't do anything about it until I know why I'm in so much love—"

"Then figure it out on your own. I'm done trying to help you remember," I rip my bag from the hanging branch and before I start to cry, I run off into the darkness.

…

**December 24****th****, 2005**

This year, after the tragic ending of the last one, I am determined to stay at home. I'm lying down on the couch, Ellie curled up against me, and our new kitten is asleep around my feet. Caroline, her husband, and her newborn baby would be joining us later in the evening, but for now, it is just me and Ellie. Oh, and Mr. Big - the cat.

"Momma?" Ellie frowns and rolls over to face me.

"Yes, sweetie?" I run my hair through her thick locks. "What's bothering that pretty little head of yours?"

"I wrote Santa a letter this Christmas, but I don't think he's gonna like it."

"Why, baby? What did you ask for?"

She shakes her head and rolls back over. She snuggles into my front and so I wrap my arms tightly around her.

"My daddy," she whispers. "I want my daddy."

My heart breaks and shatters. I hold her as tightly as I possibly can as she cries. The cat leaps from my feet and darts to the front door as Caroline walks in. I smile at her, letting her know that I need some private time with my daughter.

"I want him as well, baby."

"When will he come back? Will he come back?"

"One day," I tell her that because it's all I know. "He'll come back one day when the angels are finished with him."

By nine PM, Ellie is fast asleep in her bed with Mr Big curled up at her feet. I lean against the door and silently watch her breathing. Caroline sneaks up behind me with a sleeping newborn in her arms.

"No snow," she tells me. "No snow again. You know what else there isn't?"

"What's that?"

"There is no bun in my oven!" She grumbles. "That's because there is no snow."

"First of all," I roll my eyes and shut my daughter's bedroom door, "snow and sperm are two different things. You're twenty-six years old, you should know that by now. Two, you've just popped one out! Give your body some time to heal!"

Caroline scowls at me but I just laugh and follow her to her bedroom for the night. As she puts the baby in the crib, I sit down on her bed and snuggle my head into the teddy bear.

"You're going tonight, right?" She asks me. "You're going to meet him?"

"No, no, no, and a thousand times, no!" I snap. "I give up. I… I can't do it anymore."

"Elena, you have to go. You can't give up on him—"

"I'm giving up on us," I sigh. "I'm not going Caroline. Forget it. It's over. Whatever the sick and twisted thing that he and I had, it's done and done."

She sits down beside me and wraps her arms around me as I sob into her chest.

"Does he know that?"

"He doesn't even know it began," I cry. "It's a one sided love affair and I'm tired of being the one who knows the truth. I'm tired of always having to be the strong one. I can't fight forever, Caroline. I haven't got the strength to do so."

…

As I warm myself by the crackling fire, our song comes on the radio. I glance over at the photo on the fireplace and wipe away my tears. The clock strikes midnight and it's the first Christmas in five years that I haven't seen Damon.

The first of many to come, I think to myself.

I put out the fire, switch off the radio and grab the blanket from the floor. I begin to ascend the stairs when the landing light switches on and Caroline makes me jump. Her face is beaming and she is grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Jeez, Caroline, you scared the crap out of me!" I mumble. "Why are you so happy?"

"I'm pregnant again!" She cheers. "I'm having another baby! I'm pregnant!"

I frown at her and then smile, and then we both frown at one another. Before another word is said, we both dart towards the window and yank open the curtains. For the first time in six years, snow has blessed Mystic Falls with its presence.

The beautiful white flakes are gracefully falling and covering the ground. People are standing on their front gardens, gasping up at the sky, their mouths open agape.

"Elena, it's snowing!" Caroline nudges me. "It's snowing! You do realise that the last time it snowed in Mystic Falls was December 24th 1999. Elena, the last time it snowed you were in the middle of saying your vows! Go. It's a sign."

I don't want to get my hopes up but I can't help it. They are sky-high right now.

I grab the photo from the fireplace and I run through the snow as fast as I can. I don't bother with a coat, I'm in too much of a rush to care about the cold.

Part of me believes he will be there when I get there but deep down, I know he won't show up. It's too late. I was too late.

As I get to the clearing, it's dead to the world. There is no sound, no light, and no evidence of life. I grip the photo in my hand as tightly as I can and I close my eyes.

My body is calling out to him and I pray to god that he can hear me.

An hour passes, two hours passes, and it's still snowing. There's still no sign of Damon.

I fall down on the tree stump and I drop my head into my hands. Merry fucking Christmas, I think. I knew there was no such thing as miracles and I'm angry at myself for even thinking that my wish would come true this Christmas.

I close my eyes and I cry as I relive this night, six whole years ago.

"_I know that I don't want to live in a world without you," he said with a smile that lights up the whole clearing. "And I want you in my life, every day and every night. I need you there. You will never need me as much as I need you, but I want you to need me. I need you to need me. Elena, you could never want me the way that I want you. You could never comprehend how much I want you."_

_My legs crumbled beneath me and my heart raced. Tears streamed down my cheeks and the little bump kicked away. He cupped my cold cheeks in his warm hands and wiped away my tears. My hero. My soldier. My soon to be husband. _

"_Your turn," he wiggled his brows, "and make it quick. I'm desperate to take you home."_

_I laughed and pressed a kiss to the inside of his palms. _

"_I miss you before you leave. I miss you when you're gone. I even miss you when you're here, sleeping beside me. My heart beats fast whenever I see your face, name, or think about all the things that we have done together. Whenever you're here, my fears and my doubt just disappears. I will wait a million years for you and a million more if I have to," I whispered. "I loved you way before I even knew you and I think I loved you before I even knew myself."_

_With the priest's blessing, he leaned in and crashed his lips to mine. In that moment, I know I fell from heaven and landed straight back into my own heaven – him. He lifted me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. The sharp bit of his uniform bit into my skin, but I was too lost in the kiss to even notice the pain. _

_I knew he was leaving in a few hours to go and fly his plane, fight for his country, save lives and spare lives, so I wouldn't waste a single moment of it. _

"_I need you to know something, 'Lena," he kissed my cheek, "and I need to tell it you now so that I don't forget or get carried away."_

"_Damon?"_

"_The moment I latched my eyes on you at your brother's wedding, I knew I had to have you. I may be a thousand miles away by morning but there is something you really need to know."_

_Suddenly, the rest of his band emerged from behind the trees with their instruments and began to play. Damon reached for his hat – one that definitely did not go with his uniform – and reached out his hand for me to take. _

"_The way you wear your hat," he began to sing, "the way you sip your tea, the memory of all that, no no, they can't take that away from me!"_

_I couldn't stop the laughter that erupted from the back of my throat. As he danced around as if he was from the swinging sixties, I watched in pure amazement. _

"_The way your smile just beams, the way you sing off key, the way you haunt my dreams, no no, they can't take that away from me. We may never meet again on the bumpy road to love. Still, I always, always keep the memory of—"_

"_You're crazy!" I yell. "But I love you."_

_And I knew then and there that they'd never take that love away from me._

He never shows up.

…

By the time I get home, it's nearly two in the morning. The snow has stopped and everybody has gone to bed, all except Caroline's husband who has been rudely awakened by their little boy.

I drag my feet through the door, blue from the cold and shaking from the sadness.

"Elena," he breathes as he rushes to wrap a blanket around my shoulders, "why do you do this to yourself?"

"I just had to try," I cry. "I need him to remember me! I need him to remember Ellie!"

"Caroline put the thought into your head, didn't she?" He sighs. "Snow makes people crazy."

I just nod hopelessly and place the photo back on the fireplace. I press my lips to the wet glass and a teardrop falls onto the wooden frame and slowly glides down the glass, onto the fireplace.

"I need him to remember who he is and what he means to me. I can't keep going. I can't keep waking up every morning to remember that he isn't next to me, that he isn't going to be next to me again. From the moment he crashed his plane and forgot, to the moment he first laid his eyes on me again, nothing has ever been the same! I hate it! I hate him. I hate myself. I hate christmas and I fucking hate snow!" I scream and throw the photo against the wall.

Thankfully the glass doesn't shatter but just lands with a thump instead.

I crumble into a pile on the floor and sob my little heart out.

"Uncle Stefan?" A little voice echoes from the top of the stairs but I don't have the strength to turn and face my little girl. "Uncle Stefan? Why is mommy crying?"

"Come on, princess," Caroline whispers and leads Ellie back to her bedroom.

"Elena," Stefan breathes down my ear as he wraps his arms around me, "you're Damon's wife! He's been madly in love with you since the moment he met you. He came back from your brother's wedding and told me that he was going to marry you one day and look what he did? He proposed within a month, had you pregnant within three, and married you within five. You're his soul-mate and deep down, he knows it!"

"I need him to remember us, Stefan. I need him to come home to me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. That's all I want for Christmas."

"He'll come back for you, Elena. Salvatore's find the person that they are meant to be with and they never leave them. I promise you, Damon will be back for you. I know he will."

"I love him, Stef, I want my husband back. Ellie needs to know who her father is! She's six years old and only knows what he looks like because of pictures. She needs her father!"

"And until he comes back for you all, you're going to do the best you can for her and you're not going to give up. You're never going to give up."

...

By the time nightfall comes, another lonely Christmas has passed. Ellie is fast asleep in her bed, Caroline is sleeping on the couch with her book resting on her chest, and I'm aimlessly glaring out the window at the snow covered ground.

The snow stopped falling around lunch time and now everybody has bets on when it will next fall again. I didn't bother. I don't want to know. Part of me hopes it will never fall again because that means my heart will never get broken and I won't get swallowed up in false hope.

"There's a present here for you, Elena," Stefan says. "I didn't think you'd want to open it in front of Caroline or Ellie."

I look over my shoulder at him. He's holding a small cardboard box with a black bow on top.

"It's hard, y'know. Damon and I were so close. I never thought we'd be torn apart. Knowing he doesn't even remember that he has a brother kills me every time I think of him, but you know what gets me through?" I raise my eyebrows, hinting for him to carry on. "You and Ellie. The person he was lives in the both of you. He might have forgotten me, but I can never forget him."

"Stefan-"

"Damon isn't dead, even though sometimes it feels like he is, so I shouldn't really be giving you this. I promised him that I wouldn't, but I think you should have it now. I don't want you to lose all hope. Maybe this will give you a reason to carry on."

He doesn't say anything else but just leaves the box on the table, picks up Caroline and carries her to their bedroom. I'm left alone with the box and my thoughts.

I run my finger along the box and tug at the bow, pulling it off. Inside the box is a jam jar, like the ones that hung from the branches at our wedding. I carefully pull it out of the box and place it down on the table.

Inside is a piece of rolled up paper tied together with a black piece of ribbon. My heart pauses and silences. I don't know whether to open it or not because I'm scared as to what it could be.

After staring at it for a good while and pouring myself my third glass or red wine, I pop the lid open and slide the piece of paper out.

I take a deep breath and unroll it.

It's a letter.

It's addressed to me.

_Dear my 'Lena, _

_If you're reading this then something has happened to me. Maybe I'm dead, maybe I'm AWOL, or maybe my brother just can't keep a secret and gave this to you for no reason. If that's the case, know that I'm going to kill him. If it's not the case and something has happened to me, I need you to know something- _

_I love you, 'Lena. I loved you the moment I met you and I will love you forever. My heart may not be beating for life, for the world, for my country, but it is damn sure beating for you and for Ellie. I don't worry about leaving her behind because I know she has the greatest mother in the world protecting her. She'll grow into a fine young lady because she has my genes and she has you guiding her along the way. _

_Never forget how much you mean to me because I will never forget it. You're not just my wife and the mother of my child, but my soul-mate as well. You're my everything, Elena. I love you. I always have. I always will._

_I don't fear dying because of you. I don't fear losing my life because you have given me the best life that a person could have. _

_I may not be there to hold you right now, kiss you, or tell you that I love you, but know that I am there. Know that I am right there behind you, watching over you and protecting you. It may not feel like it and it may feel like I am a million miles away, but I'm there. I'm always going to be there. _

_Never feel alone because I will never let you be alone. _

_I love you, Elena. _

_Tell Ellie that I love her more than words can say, that she has made me proud, and that I may not have always been around as she grew and I won't be there to see her grow anymore, but I have always been proud of her. _

_Goodbye, 'Lena. _

_Don't forget me, okay? I sure as hell will never forget you. _

_I promise. _

_Your Damon. _

_X_

…

**Phew. You know, I'm literally terrified as to how people are going to respond to this. My writing has really gone downhill. I need to get back into the game! I need to start writing again. I did my best. That's all I can do. **

**P.s – I wrote two endings to this. I couldn't decide which I wanted to go with so I have given you both. I hope you enjoy. **

**Merry belated Christmas!**

**Song – Frank Sinatra, They Can't Take That Away From Me**


	2. Alternative Ending

_I haven't wrote anything in a very long time. My love for writing has slowly drifted away along with a lot of things. I know many of you may be angry at me for deleting unfinished stories, but I have my reasons. Personal reasons. Laura has always been a huge supporter when it came to my writing and so I wanted to give her something back. This is my take on her prompt for the Christmas exchange. I hope you like it, Laura. _

**You Can't Take That Away From Me.**

…

**December 24****th****, 2002**

Every Christmas Eve for the past four years, I have watched the sun go down by The Falls. In a secluded area, surrounded by tree's – all of which have shredded their leaves – sitting on a bench by the frozen lake, a glass of wine and a simple red rose in hand, I'd watch Christmas day come.

This is Christmas is no different. I'll follow my routine and by ten PM, I'll be on 'our' bench and I'll let the festive feeling of pure joy intoxicate me.

I look up at the clock and see it's only nine thirty. The fire in front of me is crackling away and the man on the radio is introducing the next Christmas song. I smile as my favourite Christmas song comes on, just like it does at this time every year.

"_Have yourself a merry little Christmas, let your heart be light. From now on our troubles will be out of sight."_

I gentle sway to the song and glance at the photo frame on the fireplace. I kiss my finger and touch our smiling faces through the glass.

I turn around on my heels and my heart sighs at the sight of Ellie, fast asleep and dreaming on our black leather couch. She's waiting for Santa to fall down our chimney, but I don't have the heart to tell her that our chimney is just for artistic purposes. It's closed off and our fire is electric. Every year she sleeps on the couch, a carrot and a mince pie on a plate beside her.

I crouch down and press a kiss to her cheek. I pull the blanket over her shoulders and switch off the radio.

"No snow," Caroline sighs as she drags her feet into my front room, a hot chocolate in one hand and a slice of toast in the other. "I guess it's going to be another lonely Christmas for me."

"Caroline," I laugh, "that's just an old wives tale. Snow is just snow. It doesn't symbolise anything."

"It's not just snow, Elena! It's only snowed ten times in Mystic Falls and each time, something magical has happened! It's been four years since it last snowed and you and I both know that nothing worthwhile has happened since."

"Caroline-"

"Believe in the snow, Elena!"

"I believe in snow," I chuckle quietly and pull on my coat, "but I don't believe in miracles."

"Elena, you of all people have to believe in miracles."

I look down at Ellie once more, before turning to my front door and pulling it open. There has been no sign of snow for four years. The last time it snowed… it was a beautiful day. A magical day.

"Not anymore, Caroline." I shrug and leave, closing the door quietly behind me. "Not anymore."

By the time I get to 'our' spot, it's exactly ten pm and I am surrounded by utter silence. If I listen closely enough, I can hear the crackling of the icy lake. It's a beautiful place, not one many people knew about until I introduced to them, but in winter, it's like a fairy-tale.

I sit down on the bench and I pull out my flask of mulled wine. The smell is divine and it reminds me of what Christmas is all about. It's not about the presents, the food, or Santa Claus, but it's about realising all the beautiful reasons to be alive and spending a day with your family.

"Don't I know you?" A smooth and sultry voice echoes behind me and snaps me out of my reverie.

I quickly snap my head around to see him; dressed in a three-piece grey suit. His black mop of hair is messy on his head and the top few buttons of his dress shirt are undone. Now he is a fairy-tale. A true Prince Charming.

"Damon," I grin. "You're late."

"You're stunning," he smirks and leans over the bench to press a kiss to my cold cheek. "And you're already on the alcohol. Daddy would be angry."

"It's mulled wine and it's Christmas Eve, it'd be rude of me not to," I shrug and offer him my flask. "You know you want to."

"Miss Gilbert, are you trying to get me drunk?"

"Maybe," I wink. "So tell me, why are you dressed up like you're somebody famous?"

"I look good, don't I? No – actually, don't answer that – I look fantastic and I don't need you to tell me that. I thought I better make an effort today."

"You don't usually," I frown. "What's so special about this year?"

"I'm meeting the girlfriend's parents," he cringes. "They're posh."

My heart sinks and smashes into a million little pieces on the frozen ground. His girlfriend. He's with someone. He's given his heart to someone. I know I shouldn't be bothered about this as he has the right to live however he wishes, but I can't tell my heart not to care.

"You have a girlfriend?" I ask, trying to sound like it hasn't bothered me in the slightest. "Wow."

"Katherine," he nods. "She's… something. She's a midwife at the hospital I was in. We bumped into each other in March at the supermarket and I guess it all started there."

"Wow," I try and smile. "I'm… happy for you. And you're meeting her parents, huh? It must be getting serious between the both of you."

He shrugs and turns away from me. He kicks a stone on the floor and runs his hands through his hair. I can see it in his eyes that he isn't as sure as he wants to be about this relationship. I know I shouldn't be happy about that but secretly I am.

"My first Christmas with someone other than my right hand," he wiggles his eyebrows at me, and my knees buckle beneath me.

"Have you and her had—eww. No. None of my business. Sorry," I cringe at my words and bury my head in my hands, my knees up against my chest.

"We have."

He sits down next to me and nudges my shoulder. I look in his cobalt eyes and smile as best as I can.

"She's the first woman I've… you know…," he blushes. He actually blushes.

"Since the accident?" I ask. "She's the first woman you've slept with since the accident."

He turns away from me like he is embarrassed, but I cup his cold cheeks with my warm hands and force him to look at me. There is little to no hope in his eyes and I can't stand to see him so defeated. He looks at me and gives me the most hopeless smile that I've ever seen.

"Why are you so embarrassed about it?"

"It's not that I'm embarrassed. I'm… it's weird. It's not the same."

"As?"

"That's it," he shrugs. "I don't know. It just doesn't feel right."

"Do you love her?" I ask him.

"I try. I'm trying. I'm trying not to walk away."

"That's where you're going wrong, Damon. You don't have to try and love someone. Love… it's not a thing, it's an emotion. You just love someone. It comes naturally."

"You're not just a pretty face, are you?" He laughs and sips on my flask of mulled wine.

"Yeah well," I snort, "some guy told me that when it's real, you can't walk away."

"And did he walk away from you?"

"I wouldn't say he walked away from me," I smile. "He … he just forgot about me."

"Nah," Damon gives his boyish grin and wraps his strong arm around my shoulders, "you're impossible to forget, Miss Gilbert."

I can't help but smile at him, but if only he knew what he just said to me meant.

We sit in silence, listening to the wind sing through the trees and the ice crack on the lake. The odd bird flies overhead but there is not much wildlife to be seen. I throw my legs over his and he grasps them tightly in his large hands.

"I have to leave soon," he breathes. "I really wish I could see you more than just once a year."

"Then why don't you? Are you ashamed of me, Mr Salvatore?"

"No man could be ashamed to have you on their arm," he joked. "Haven't you heard the saying 'too much of a good thing…'"

"Damon—"

"I have to go. Katherine will be waiting for me."

"I guess you should," I say. "Thank you for coming, Damon."

He leans down and presses a quaint kiss to the crown of my head and whispers, "Have yourself a merry little Christmas, Elena."

…

**December 24****th****, 2003**

It's that time of year again. I'm standing by the crackling fire, the radio on as 'our' song plays, gazing out the window at the dark sky.

Ellie, once again, is asleep on the couch with the remote control in her hand. Her head is resting in Caroline's lap as she sweetly dreams of Santa Claus coming down the chimney.

"No snow," Caroline grumbles as she twiddles her engagement ring. "None. Not a single drop! Do you know what that means? It means he's going to stand me up at the altar. He's gonna climb out the bathroom window, jump into the waiting taxi, go to Timbuktu, and then never come back again."

I can't help but laugh at her. She scowls at me but she knows I mean well. Ellie stirs on her lap and mumbles something, faintly, in her sleep.

"I have to go," I shake my head, still laughing at my best friend. "I don't want to be late."

She rolls her eyes at me, but I'm too quick out the door to hear her sarcastic remark. It's a horribly cold night and I can't shake the feeling that Damon isn't going to show up. Part of me hopes he doesn't show because I don't know how long I can keep myself at bay for. The other part – the domineering part of me – dreads the idea that he won't show up to bless me with his beautiful present.

As I get to the clearing, I spot him. He's pouring two glasses of red wine and has a box of chocolates resting on the bench.

"Mr Salvatore," I smirk at him, "are you trying to get my drunk?"

"Excuse me?"

"I see one glass has much more wine than the other," I point to the full glass and wink at him.

He simply rolls his eyes at me. He rushes over and presses his lips to my cheek. My whole body convulses and I can't stop the girly laughter erupting from my lips.

"Okay," I frown as I sip on my drink, "your smile is scaring the shit out of me. Why are you smirking like the cat that got the cream?"

"Can't I just be happy to see you? Can't I just be happy because I get to spend this beautiful night with the most beautiful woman I know?"

"No."

"Okay, so I won a bit of money at a casino earlier. It seems I haven't forgotten how to scam people out of their hard-earned money," he jokes. "Who's the man? I'm the man."

I can't help but smile. It's been a long time since I have seen him so happy. He's dancing on the spot, humming, and acting like he's Frank Sinatra or Fred Astaire. He spins me under his arm and pulls me up against his chest, swinging me from side to side.

"Who's the man, Elena? Tell me."

"You're the man," I mumble, embarrassed at what he making me do.

"Nope. Say it louder. Who is the man, Elena? Shout it."

"Damon—"

"Who's the man?!"

"You're the man!" I yell at the top of my voice and it echoes through the trees. "Damon Salvatore, you are the man!"

"Jeez, you don't have to be so loud, Elena," he grins and spins me around again. This time I land against his chest with my eyes locked on his.

"It's nice to see you smiling again."

"It's about time, don't you think?" He mumbles into my hair. "I've been miserable for so long and I finally feel myself... well from what I can remember."

We usually slow dance on Christmas Eve but this time he is spinning me around quickly and bouncing up and down like we're doing the quick step or the jive. He makes me squeal like a child when he grips my waist and holds me up in the air. I can't stand my girlish giggle, but as I hold myself up on his shoulders, I feel like a young school girl in love all over again.

_"The way you wear your hat,"_ he starts to sing and I suddenly go silent, _"the way you sip your tea. The memory of all that, no no, they can't take that away from me."_

He slowly puts me down on the floor and hugs me close to him, but he doesn't stop singing. His eyes are shut as we sway, while mine are wide open as if I have seen a ghost. My heart won't stop pounding and I'm sure I'm beginning to sweat.

"_The way your smile just beams. The way you sing off key. The way you haunt my dreams, no no, they can't take that away from me."_

He finally opens his eyes and looks at me. He has clearly seen my bewildered expression and he laughs at me, taps the cold end of my nose, and dips me down to the floor.

"_We may never, never meet again on that bumpy to road to love. Still I always, always keep the memory of the way you hold your knife. The way we dance till three. The way you changed my life—"_

He suddenly goes all pale and stumbles away from me. His hands grip his head tightly and he squeezes his eyes shut.

"Damon?" I barely whisper. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"I have to go," he snaps. "Fuck."

"Damon, why were you singing—"

"I have to go, Elena."

He doesn't even look at me. He quickly turns on his heels and disappears into the darkness, leaving me there in the cold without a single ounce of hope.

…

**December 24****th****, 2004.**

This year is different to all the rest. This year it doesn't feel like Christmas at all and I think it's because I've lost all hope. For the past few Eves, I have held on to a tiny shed of light – hope – but this year, I'm empty and broken.

I'm sitting at my designated table, at Caroline's winter wonderland of a wedding. She and her new husband are having their first dance while we watch on with tears in our eyes.

Her wedding was truly beautiful and I couldn't have been happier for her. She looked beautiful in her Vera Wang dress and her golden locks just shimmered under her veil. She is definitely one of the most beautiful women I have ever had the chance to meet.

Ellie is up by the band – her eyes are locked on the pianist – swaying in her little bridesmaid dress. I smile at the amazed expression on her face but as I watch the pianist as he sings his beautiful song, something hits me and tears form in the corners of my eyes.

"_Stars shining bright above you, night breezes seem to whisper I love you. Birds singing in the sycamore tree, dream a little dream of me. Say nighty-night and kiss me. Just hold me tight and tell me you miss me. While I'm alone and blue as can be, dream a little dream of me."_

"_Congratulation Jer," I whispered into my brother's ear as he pulled me into a hug. "I'm so happy for you. Mum and dad would be so proud of you."_

"_Do you think they'd have forgiven for me all the crap I did when I was younger?"_

"_Of course," I smiled and kissed his cheek. "You've turned into a gentleman to be proud of and anyway, even if mum was alive and still pissed at you for all the shit you put them through, she'd be too happy to have Bonnie for a daughter-in-law to care."_

_He laughed and put his arm around me and we began to dance to the music together. Just my younger brother and I, nobody else in the world to care about. _

"_The band is brilliant, Jer. The pianist's voice is so… it's so dreamy," I purred as I gazed over his shoulder at the band who was currently singing Ben E. King's 'Stand by Me.' "Plus he isn't hard to look at, is he?"_

"_Bonnie saw them at one of her friend's wedding and she just had to have them. He's fantastic, I agree, but I know Bonnie only wanted them for his 'dreamy' looks. You wouldn't think that a man in a leather jacket could play the piano like Mozart or sing like Sinatra, but I'll give it to the guy, he's pretty damn good."_

"_You gonna help a single lady out?" I joked as he pulled away from me and gave me a pointed look. _

"_I don't remember his name," he lied. "Stay single, Elena. Save me the bother of beating up every man you meet."_

"_But don't you want a niece of nephew?"_

"_Eurgh. Stay away from all men, Elena, nobody is ever going to be good enough for you, okay?"_

"_Okay," I sighed. "I love you, Jer."_

"_I love you too, Elena."_

_He left me in the middle of the dance floor to find his new wife and Caroline was hollering me from the other end of the room, but my eyes were locked on the pianists and I was entranced by his voice and good looks. _

_It was about the time that he started singing Sinatra's song that he looked over at me. My knee's buckled beneath me and in that moment, I knew I was done for. _

_My heart had been stolen and I never wanted to get it back. _

"Earth to Elena," Caroline screeches down my ear. I shake my head and come back down to earth, pushing the memor_y to the back of my mind. _"Do you realise what time it is?"

"I'm not going," I sigh. "I don't feel like it. I don't want to see his face. I'm angry at him."

"No you're not. You're angry at the situation. You're angry at what you're going through, but you're not angry at him."

I turn my head from her and wipe the tears from my eyes. I know that she is right but I just don't want to accept it.

"Go, Elena. Go see him."

By the time I let her push me into going to see him and get down to the falls – doubting he'd even be there himself – I'm half asleep. I've been up since the early hours helping Caroline get ready and getting myself ready, I'm sure I'll be asleep within minutes.

"I didn't think you were coming," he frowns. "I thought I was going to have to see in Christmas on my own."

"I was at my friend's wedding," I tell him. "It wasn't easy to leave."

He nods and stands up. He has bags under his eyes and he's pale, like he's barely slept since we last saw one another.

"You look beautiful ," he whispers as he circles me, checking me out. "Elena, how are you single when you look like this?"

"I guess I'm just waiting for the right person," I shrug. "Or I've already found him and I'm waiting for him to realise that I'm the right person for him."

"Maybe he already knows."

"He does," I nod, "but he's forgotten."

He turns his head away from me and runs his hands through his messy hair. He takes a deep breath and sits down on a tree stump.

"I'm sorry about what happened last year. I shouldn't have ran away, but…"

"I understand," I smile sadly at him. "I know you're having a hard time, Damon, but I wish you would let me in. I wish you would let me help you."

He looks up at me and I do my best to reassure him with my smile. I crouch down beside him and he gazes at me with his cold eyes. He holds out his palm to me and cups my cheeks. I snuggle my cheek into his warm palm and I sense him shiver.

I look up at his face and he is as white as a sheet of paper. He attentively strokes his thumb against my skin and I can't help but sigh and relax.

He slowly turns around and pulls me between his legs. Both of his hands are now cupping my face.

"I broke up with Katherine," he whispers. "She wasn't the one."

"How do you know?" I ask.

"I just know," he smirks. "I know everything."

If only, I thought to myself.

"Do you want to know what else I know?"

I nod.

"I know that I don't want to live in a world without you," he says with his eyes shut tight. "And I want you in my life, every day and every night. I need you there. You will never need me as much as I need you, but I want you to need me. I need you to need me. Elena, you could never want me the way that I want you. You could never comprehend how much I want you."

A tear rolls down my cheek as I push away from him. I catch my tears with the back of my hand and wipe my nose on my arm. I know it's not ladylike but my heart is pounding and I can't breathe. The thought of trying to find a tissue in this state is near impossible.

"Why-what-why did you say that?" I stutter. "Where did you heart that?"

"I had a dream last night," he frowns. "We were here. Me and you. Christmas Eve, fairy lights everywhere. They were hidden in the branches, around the tree stumps, and it was beautiful. I've only ever heard of such things in fairy-tales. There was white cotton hanging above us," he smiles as he remembers his 'dream.'

"Little jars with candles hung from the cotton and there were yellow and purple flowers all around us. You were wearing a pretty little dress and I was in my army uniform. I guess I was flying out that night or the next morning. We were young. A lot younger than we are now," he laughs. "You were absolutely stunning and I was the luckiest man to be alive that night."

"Was there anything different about me?" I ask. "Was there something else?"

He smiles and blushes. He actually blushes.

"It's lame. It doesn't matter."

"It's not lame," I laugh. "Tell me. Tell me everything."

"Okay," he whispers and pulls me up onto my feet. He carefully leads me across the icy ground to the bench.

He sits down first and then allows me to lie down, my head on his lap. Gently, his eyes never leaving mine, he places his large hand on my stomach.

"You had a bump. My bump," he rolls his eyes. "I told you this was lame."

"Carry on!" I demand as I link my fingers with his.

"I took your hand in mine and I told you that I didn't want to live in a world where you didn't exist. I basically just said to you what I used as my vows in my dream," he scoffs. "Then I woke up. I never got to hear your vows. I never got to kiss the bride."

"I miss you before you leave. I miss you when you're gone. I even miss you when you're here, sleeping beside me. My heart beats fast whenever I see your face, name, or think about all the things that we have done together. Whenever you're here, my fears and my doubt just disappears. I will wait a million years for you and a million more if I have to," I sit up and whisper. "I loved you way before I even knew you and I think I loved you before I even knew myself."

He tilts his head on its side and smiles, wiping the tears from under my eyes.

"And then what?" He asks. "What would happen next?"

"You'd kiss the bride," I mutter as I lean closer to him.

He leans in ever so slowly and presses his lips to mine in the gentlest kiss known to man. Our eyes are closed but our hearts are open. He places his hands on my neck and tangles the end of his fingers in my hair. This moment could last forever. I could stay in his arms, kissing him, forever. My body is tuned to his and my mind is fused with his.

"And then what?" he murmurs against my lips.

"Then you take me back to our home."

"Oh yeah?" He smirks and wiggles his eyes brows.

He shuffles me onto his lap and I wrap my legs around him. He pushes my hair away from my face and rests his head against my forehead, his arms linked around my back to hold me close to him.

"And what do we do at our home?"

"We do what you and I do best," I giggle, "and make up for lost time. You read to the bump and promise me you'll be back the day that she is born. You tell me that you'll love me forever, no matter what happens. By seven am, you're dressed and out of the house, ready to be shipped off somewhere new."

"And you let me leave?"

"I tell you that I want you to stay. I tell you that me and the bump need you more than your country needs you. I cry. You cry. I'm pretty sure the bump would cry if it could."

He laughs at me and presses his lips to the crown of my head.

"I wish I could have finished the dream and not just to see you underneath me, in a bed called 'ours.'"

I shuffle on his lap and he flinches.

"It doesn't have to just stay in your dream," I tell him. "Spend Christmas with me. Spent tonight with me. Stay with me, Damon. I can help you, I know I can!"

"I want to, 'Lena. Jesus, I want to spend every day with you but I can't!"

"Why not?" I snap. "Why can't you just—be with me?!"

"It would be selfish of me," he sighs. "I'd end up hurting you. You're the last person on the planet that I ever want to hurt! I won't put you in that position, Elena! I can't put you in that position."

"Why not!?"

"Because I love you too damn much!"

"You barely know me," I hiss and push away from him. I can't stand to feel his touch.

"No," he laughs, "I don't. I barely know myself after the plane crash, but I know I'm madly in love with you."

"So then do something about it!"

"I can't do anything about it until I know why I'm in so much love—"

"Then figure it out on your own. I'm done trying to help you remember," I rip my bag from the hanging branch and before I start to cry, I run off into the darkness.

…

**December 24****th****, 2005**

This year, after the tragic ending of the last one, I am determined to stay at home. I'm lying down on the couch, Ellie curled up against me, and our new kitten is asleep around my feet. Caroline, her husband, and her newborn baby would be joining us later in the evening, but for now, it is just me and Ellie. Oh, and Mr. Big - the cat.

"Momma?" Ellie frowns and rolls over to face me.

"Yes, sweetie?" I run my hair through her thick locks. "What's bothering that pretty little head of yours?"

"I wrote Santa a letter this Christmas, but I don't think he's gonna like it."

"Why, baby? What did you ask for?"

She shakes her head and rolls back over. She snuggles into my front and so I wrap my arms tightly around her.

"My daddy," she whispers. "I want my daddy."

My heart breaks and shatters. I hold her as tightly as I possibly can as she cries. The cat leaps from my feet and darts to the front door as Caroline walks in. I smile at her, letting her know that I need some private time with my daughter.

"I want him as well, baby."

"When will he come back? Will he come back?"

"One day," I tell her that because it's all I know. "He'll come back one day when the angels are finished with him."

By nine PM, Ellie is fast asleep in her bed with Mr Big curled up at her feet. I lean against the door and silently watch her breathing. Caroline sneaks up behind me with a sleeping newborn in her arms.

"No snow," she tells me. "No snow again. You know what else there isn't?"

"What's that?"

"There is no bun in my oven!" She grumbles. "That's because there is no snow."

"First of all," I roll my eyes and shut my daughter's bedroom door, "snow and sperm are two different things. You're twenty-six years old, you should know that by now. Two, you've just popped one out! Give your body some time to heal!"

Caroline scowls at me but I just laugh and follow her to her bedroom for the night. As she puts the baby in the crib, I sit down on her bed and snuggle my head into the teddy bear.

"You're going tonight, right?" She asks me. "You're going to meet him?"

"No, no, no, and a thousand times, no!" I snap. "I give up. I… I can't do it anymore."

"Elena, you have to go. You can't give up on him—"

"I'm giving up on us," I sigh. "I'm not going Caroline. Forget it. It's over. Whatever the sick and twisted thing that he and I had, it's done and done."

She sits down beside me and wraps her arms around me as I sob into her chest.

"Does he know that?"

"He doesn't even know it began," I cry. "It's a one sided love affair and I'm tired of being the one who knows the truth. I'm tired of always having to be the strong one. I can't fight forever, Caroline. I haven't got the strength to do so."

…

As I warm myself by the crackling fire, our song comes on the radio. I glance over at the photo on the fireplace and wipe away my tears. The clock strikes midnight and it's the first Christmas in five years that I haven't seen Damon.

The first of many to come, I think to myself.

I put out the fire, switch off the radio and grab the blanket from the floor. I begin to ascend the stairs when the landing light switches on and Caroline makes me jump. Her face is beaming and she is grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Jeez, Caroline, you scared the crap out of me!" I mumble. "Why are you so happy?"

"I'm pregnant again!" She cheers. "I'm having another baby! I'm pregnant!"

I frown at her and then smile, and then we both frown at one another. Before another word is said, we both dart towards the window and yank open the curtains. For the first time in six years, snow has blessed Mystic Falls with its presence.

The beautiful white flakes are gracefully falling and covering the ground. People are standing on their front gardens, gasping up at the sky, their mouths open agape.

"Elena, it's snowing!" Caroline nudges me. "It's snowing! You do realise that the last time it snowed in Mystic Falls was December 24th 1999. Elena, the last time it snowed you were in the middle of saying your vows! Go. It's a sign."

I don't want to get my hopes up but I can't help it. They are sky-high right now.

I grab the photo from the fireplace and I run through the snow as fast as I can. I don't bother with a coat, I'm in too much of a rush to care about the cold.

Part of me believes he will be there when I get there but deep down, I know he won't show up. It's too late. I was too late.

As I get to the clearing, it's dead to the world. There is no sound, no light, and no evidence of life. I grip the photo in my hand as tightly as I can and I close my eyes.

My body is calling out to him and I pray to god that he can hear me.

An hour passes, two hours passes, and it's still snowing. There's still no sign of Damon.

I fall down on the tree stump and I drop my head into my hands. Merry fucking Christmas, I think. I knew there was no such thing as miracles and I'm angry at myself for even thinking that my wish would come true this Christmas.

I close my eyes and I cry as I relive this night, six whole years ago.

"_I know that I don't want to live in a world without you," he said with a smile that lights up the whole clearing. "And I want you in my life, every day and every night. I need you there. You will never need me as much as I need you, but I want you to need me. I need you to need me. Elena, you could never want me the way that I want you. You could never comprehend how much I want you."_

_My legs crumbled beneath me and my heart raced. Tears streamed down my cheeks and the little bump kicked away. He cupped my cold cheeks in his warm hands and wiped away my tears. My hero. My soldier. My soon to be husband. _

"_Your turn," he wiggled his brows, "and make it quick. I'm desperate to take you home."_

_I laughed and pressed a kiss to the inside of his palms. _

"_I miss you before you leave. I miss you when you're gone. I even miss you when you're here, sleeping beside me. My heart beats fast whenever I see your face, name, or think about all the things that we have done together. Whenever you're here, my fears and my doubt just disappears. I will wait a million years for you and a million more if I have to," I whispered. "I loved you way before I even knew you and I think I loved you before I even knew myself."_

_With the priest's blessing, he leaned in and crashed his lips to mine. In that moment, I know I fell from heaven and landed straight back into my own heaven – him. He lifted me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. The sharp bit of his uniform bit into my skin, but I was too lost in the kiss to even notice the pain. _

_I knew he was leaving in a few hours to go and fly his plane, fight for his country, save lives and spare lives, so I wouldn't waste a single moment of it. _

"_I need you to know something, 'Lena," he kissed my cheek, "and I need to tell it you now so that I don't forget or get carried away."_

"_Damon?"_

"_The moment I latched my eyes on you at your brother's wedding, I knew I had to have you. I may be a thousand miles away by morning but there is something you really need to know."_

_Suddenly, the rest of his band emerged from behind the trees with their instruments and began to play. Damon reached for his hat – one that definitely did not go with his uniform – and reached out his hand for me to take. _

"_The way you wear your hat," he began to sing, "the way you sip your tea, the memory of all that, no no, they can't take that away from me!"_

_I couldn't stop the laughter that erupted from the back of my throat. As he danced around as if he was from the swinging sixties, I watched in pure amazement. _

"_The way your smile just beams, the way you sing off key, the way you haunt my dreams, no no, they can't take that away from me. We may never meet again on the bumpy road to love. Still, I always, always keep the memory of—"_

"_You're crazy!" I yell. "But I love you."_

_And I knew then and there that they'd never take that love away from me._

He never shows up.

…

By the time I get home, it's nearly two in the morning. The snow has stopped and everybody has gone to bed, all except Caroline's husband who has been rudely awakened by their little boy.

I drag my feet through the door, blue from the cold and shaking from the sadness.

"Elena," he breathes as he rushes to wrap a blanket around my shoulders, "why do you do this to yourself?"

"I just had to try," I cry. "I need him to remember me! I need him to remember Ellie!"

"Caroline put the thought into your head, didn't she?" He sighs. "Snow makes people crazy."

I just nod hopelessly and place the photo back on the fireplace. I press my lips to the wet glass and a teardrop falls onto the wooden frame and slowly glides down the glass, onto the fireplace.

"I need him to remember who he is and what he means to me. I can't keep going. I can't keep waking up every morning to remember that he isn't next to me, that he isn't going to be next to me again. From the moment he crashed his plane and forgot, to the moment he first laid his eyes on me again, nothing has ever been the same! I hate it! I hate him. I hate myself. I hate christmas and I fucking hate snow!" I scream and throw the photo against the wall.

Thankfully the glass doesn't shatter but just lands with a thump instead.

I crumble into a pile on the floor and sob my little heart out.

"Uncle Stefan?" A little voice echoes from the top of the stairs but I don't have the strength to turn and face my little girl. "Uncle Stefan? Why is mommy crying?"

"Come on, princess," Caroline whispers and leads Ellie back to her bedroom.

"Elena," Stefan breathes down my ear as he wraps his arms around me, "you're Damon's wife! He's been madly in love with you since the moment he met you. He came back from your brother's wedding and told me that he was going to marry you one day and look what he did? He proposed within a month, had you pregnant within three, and married you within five. You're his soul-mate and deep down, he knows it!"

"I need him to remember us, Stefan. I need him to come home to me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. That's all I want for Christmas."

"He'll come back for you, Elena. Salvatore's find the person that they are meant to be with and they never leave them. I promise you, Damon will be back for you. I know he will."

"I love him, Stef, I want my husband back. Ellie needs to know who her father is! She's six years old and only knows what he looks like because of pictures. She needs her father!"

"And until he comes back for you all, you're going to do the best you can for her and you're not going to give up. You're never going to give up."

…

At eight in the morning, a bundling ball of joy comes bouncing into my bed, squealing about how Santa Claus has come with his big bag of presents.

"C'mon, momma, wake up! Santa has been! He's left muddy foot prints down stairs," she huffs, "so I'm angry with him. But I also love him because he has bought me presents! Come on, momma. Come on!"

"Sweetie, I think you should go wake Caroline and Stefan up first, okay?" I laugh and press my lips to her forehead. "Merry Christmas, baby girl."

"Merry Christmas, momma!" She giggles and climbs off my bed.

She runs full speed ahead to Caroline and Stefan's room, leaving me alone to prepare for another Christmas without my husband.

The day goes on just like every other Christmas and I watch my daughter open her presents with teary eyes. She pretends to love every single present that she has but I know she's disappointed. The one thing she truly wants isn't here. The only thing her heart calls for, he's not here.

As I chop the carrots, there's knock at the door. I look over my shoulder and see Ellie playing with her new paint set at the kitchen table. She looks up and grins at me.

"Who is at the door, momma?" She asks me. "Do you think Santa forgot something?"

"I don't know," I chuckle. "I'll go see. Stay here, okay?"

She nods and I place the towel back on the counter. As I make my way to the front door, I catch a glance at the falling snow from the window. My heart swells but I don't think any more of it. Miracles don't exist.

But as I open the door and latch my eyes onto the visitor, everything around me seems to pause and silence. My heart bursts and explodes like a firework and the fire in my stomach burns like a bonfire.

"Damon," I whisper.

"You never came last night," he shrugs. He's so pale and his shirt is skewwhiff.

I don't know what to say, so I stand in silence.

"I was cleaning out my attic last night," he says, "and I found something that made me realise that I had never lost something in the first place."

He reaches into his carrier bag and pulls out a jam jar, like the ones that hung from the branches at our wedding. Inside there are three pieces of rolled up paper. He pops open the lid and hands me them.

The first is a letter.

"Dearest Elena," I begin to read it aloud. "You wrote a letter to me?"

"Just read it."

"Dearest Elena, if you're reading this then something has happened to me. Maybe I'm dead, maybe I'm AWOL, or maybe my brother just can't keep a secret and gave this to you for no reason. If that's the case, know that I'm going to kill him. If it's not the case and something has happened to me, I need you to know something," I choke on my words. 

He steps closer to me and wipes away my tears. I can't carry on. My heart just won't take it.

"I love you, 'Lena," he recites, not even needing to look down at the piece of paper. "I loved you the moment I met you and I will love you forever. My heart may not be beating for life, for the world, for my country, but it is damn sure beating for you and for Ellie. I don't worry about leaving her behind because I know she has the greatest mother in the world protecting her. She'll grow into a fine young lady because she has my genes and she has you guiding her along the way."

He cups my cheeks in his hands and presses his lips to my forehead.

"Never forget how much you mean to me because I will never forget it. You're not just my wife and the mother of my child, but my soul-mate as well. You're my everything, Elena. I love you," he whispers. "I always have. I always will."

He unfolds the other two pieces of paper and shows me the two photographs. One is of our wedding and one of him holding Ellie the first moment that she was born.

"Why didn't you tell me that it wasn't just a dream?" He asks me. "Why didn't you tell me that we're married and why didn't you ever bring Ellie to me?"

"A doctor told me that you'd remember in your own time and that sometimes, pushing you to remember makes things worse. He said you'd have remembered by now," I whimper. "You just … you never did."

"So all the dreams that I told you about—"

"They were memories, Damon. The day we met, the day we got married, the sex," I giggle. "The doctor said to not force you and let it come back naturally."

"I always knew there was more to us than you let on. I knew we were linked in some way . It's always been on the tip of my tongue!" He laughs and runs his hands through his hair.

"Do you remember now? Do you remember anything at all?"

"Well now I know they were more than memories I have a bit more of an inkling into who I am," he shrugs, "but I couldn't put a pinpoint on things. I know something though. I know that I'm not going to waste any more time without you in my life. I know that I'm going to remember who I was back then, but I also know that it doesn't matter if I never remember!"

"Damon—"

"I can spend the rest of my life never knowing what happened before the accident because I know I have the rest of my life making more memories with you. I think that's a pretty damn good deal, don't you?" He smiles. "Elena, I may not know much but I know that I love you. I know that I can't spend another day without you there!"

"It's not just me, Damon. It's a two for one deal—"

Someone tugs on my cardigan and mutes me. Ellie pushes beside me and cuddles up to my side to shield away from the cold. She looks up at me with wide eyes and then over at Damon.

Damon's eyes are blood shot and wide, his smile has fallen and his cheeks are white as the snow he is standing on.

I can see the corner of his lips flicker as he tries to smile.

"Nobody could forget whose daughter you are, huh?" Damon tries to joke as he takes in the sight of his little girl. Her long black hair, her bold blue eyes and her charming little smile; all of it screamed Damon.

"Santa got my letter!" Ellie giggles until her little heart aches and her laughter turns to tears.

"You're all she wanted for Christmas. You're all we have both wanted for every Christmas that has passed since you left us."

"Elena," he sighs. "I've forgotten, I've not left. I'm here. Let me back into your lives."

"You never left it," I shrug. "Your face is all over my walls, in my head, in Ellie's heart."

Ellie leaves my side and runs to Damon's side. He crouches down and catches her before she slips in the snow. Her tiny arms wrap around his neck and his strong ones hold her tightly, as if he is silently promising her that he will never let go again.

"Do you still love me, daddy?" I hear her ask him. "After the angels borrowed your memory for a little while?"

He frowns at me and I just shrug. How do you tell a child that their father forgot them? I told her that her daddy is the smartest man alive and the angels had a problem up in heaven, so they stole his brains to fix the problem. I promised her they'd return it one day and she has been begging them ever since to do so.

"Hey, spud," his pet name for her seems to roll off his tongue, "I could never not love you."

"You sure?" She asks.

"I'm not sure of much anymore – those pesky angels – but I'm sure that you've always been my girl. Always will be. I love you very much."

I watch her smother her father's face with kisses as Caroline places her hand on my shoulder and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

"It's snowing," she wiggles her eyebrows at me. "S.N.O.W.I.N.G."

"Go on," I huff. "Say it. I know you're dying to."

"I told you so!"

With the biggest grin on her lips, she leaves me to watch Damon and his daughter laugh in the snow. For a moment, I forget that he doesn't remember the moment she was born, the night she was conceived, or how much she weighed, but I know that deep down he never forgot her. He never forgot the love he held for her.

As the snow begins to fall heavier, tears begin to trickle down my cheek. Damon comes to stand in front of me, holding our daughter between the both of us.

"Don't cry on Christmas," he smiles. "What did Caroline say to you?"

"Snow means a miracle has happened," I wipe my tears away, not wanting to ruin Christmas.

"And maybe it has."

"No," I shake my head. "A miracle would be you remembering everything."

"Elena-"

"This is better than a miracle," I smile. "You don't remember and yet you're still here. You're still standing in front of us, claiming you love us. You don't remember us."

"I might not remember days, months, faces, names, or places, but you can never forget love, Elena. So until I remember, we're just going to have to make new memories."

"You're going to stay?"

"I'm never going to leave again," he ruffles up Ellie's hair, "if that's okay with the both of you."

"That's more than okay," I manage to speak through my tears. "Merry Christmas, Damon."

"Merry Christmas... wifey."

…

**P.s – I wrote two endings to this. I couldn't decide which I wanted to go with so I have given you both. I hope you enjoy. **

**Merry belated Christmas!**

**Song – Frank Sinatra, They Can't Take That Away From Me**


End file.
